There have been a great many adjectives used to describe me in my adult life, but today I want to focus on the ones that make most people cringe, or at least ask “Why aren’t you more offended?”
The most common negative descriptive words used to describe me have been Intimidating, Aggressive, Sadistic, and Bitch.
I am all of those things at least some of the time, and I’m rarely, if ever, ashamed of my behavior.
Perhaps I’m intimidating because I can’t hide my boredom and lack tact when faced with the smarmy peacocking that precedes self-aggrandizement at the expense of others. I refuse to measure personal value by Twitter followers, Facebook friends, blog readers, or page likes.
In a digitally linked culture, the numbers of faces peering back at us through bright screens might connect us, but it’s the tiny threads of passion and creativity that stitch us together.
Could be I’m a bitch because I think too many people are the mass produced knock-off version of something unique and wonderfully made. Their individuality is drowned out by the noise of the cultural sweatshop. Insecurities are amplified by a constant bombardment of unattainable expectations, intellect is pacified with propaganda trapping them like mice on wheels.
Maybe I’m aggressive because I just won’t tolerate unnecessary, trivial chatter. I expect engagement— hand-crafted, expertly cultivated authenticity from the people I choose to surround myself with, and I’m not afraid to ask for the real you.
It’s possible I’m sadistic because I expect a certain level of discipline and dignity in how personal relationships should be conducted. I have no qualms with excising emotional vampires and drama-addicts from my life, usually with precision and little fuss.
If I’m intimidating or sadistic because I expect only the best, most intelligent, compassionate, and unique You– it’s not an insult, it’s an affirmation. I am those things, and I won’t apologize.